Vanilla Ice Tries to fill Sir Mix-a-Lot's Hat, Fails Miserably

 

Sir Mix-a-Lot

What in the name of Anthony L. Ray is going on in America? People can’t pay their rent, regular people are beefing about masks like the Bloods and Crips used to go at it over territory, and for reasons unknown to this scribe — the Bar-S Foods Company just dropped a “Baby Got Back” parody video. 

Ok, so I do know a little something and of course a lot of the problems in the country today are pandemic related, but that doesn’t explain why the good people at Bar-S would waste what I assume to be at the least thousands of dollars transforming one of the premier club bangers of the early nineties into, well, a backyard barbecue anthem.

“Baby Got Buns,” you see what they did there, isn’t offensive because it changes an iconic ode to the female derriere and defying the rigid structure of what society has labeled as necessary to make a woman beautiful to embrace the natural diversity of women’s sizes and shapes — into a ditty about grilling. OK, maybe it is, but the fact that Vanilla Ice is the frontman for this foodie atrocity pushes it into the realm of a tier-1 culture violation.

How are you going to put out a “Baby Got Back" parody without the involvement of the aforementioned Ray, a true knight of American hip-hop better known as Sir Mix-a-Lot? The Iceman has plenty of hits rife with potential for parody. Sometimes, it seems like his rap career was one of more melinated artists with less mass appeal in order to sell millions of records, but I ain’t one to gossip so you didn’t hear it from me. Still, I would be lying if I said I never got hype when I used to hear the cymbals at the start of “Ice Ice Baby” and dust off my imaginary mic to spit in sync. 

That said you can’t take the biggest hit from the Bard of Butts and expect the guy who did “Ninja Rap” to do it justice. The fact that Bar-S tried had me embroiled in a frantic google search after I first saw the video. For a minute, I was scared Mix-a-Lot was amongst the fallen and his musical legacy up for sale. Thankfully, I was pleased to see that not only he is alive and touring, but he is fighting to keep Seattle music venues open through the pandemic — with his own money.

After I took a breath, I realized that “Baby Got Buns” may not be art and Rob Van Winkle could never fill Mix-a-Lot’s iconic hat, but if two rap legends can find a way to still get paid 30 years into the game – Mix wrote his hit and I’m assuming the Bar-S people had to pay a nice fee to use it, music wins.

Watch the full video for “Baby Got Buns” below and decide for yourself, “But at what cost?”